Jews for Allah

[Guest]

Rabbi fighting to marry same-sex couples


By Greg McArthur

Monday, March 10, 2003 - 07:00

Local News - He doesn’t look much like a rebel.

He speaks Yiddish to his two children in a soft, gentle voice. He chats with his wife while he prepares a Bible study for one of his students. He always wears a yarmulke.

But make no mistake about it, Justin Lewis is a rebel rabbi.

A rebel rabbi with a cause.

The 41-year-old Kingston man is taking on the government and the Jewish establishment in order to gain legal recognition of same-sex marriages in Canada.

Lewis, who is also the director of the Jewish studies program at Queen’s University, is one of the few rabbis in Ontario who will perform marriages for gay and lesbian couples.

In July he married a lesbian couple in Toronto, the first same-sex marriage he has ever performed.

Since studying Judaism at university and making homosexual friends who felt ostracized from the faith because of its rigid stances on marriage, Lewis has felt passionate about making his religion more inclusive.

“The synagogue was going through a very divisive time,” Lewis explains.

“There were a lot of gays and lesbians who felt they were safe and in a welcoming environment.

“It turns out that wasn’t so.”

Since then Lewis – who is the rabbi for a Kingston Reform congregation of about 70 families – has stood defiant in the face of those who say homosexuals should never be wed.

Just last week in Ottawa, Lewis made an impassioned speech to the parliamentary Committee on Justice and Human Rights, which is beginning a cross-Canada tour in April to take the nation’s pulse on the issue of same-sex marriage.

Many religious opponents of same-sex marriage argue that if the government forces them to marry homosexuals, it will infringe on their religious freedom.

Lewis turned that argument on its head in Ottawa.

He argued that by not legalizing same-sex marriages, the federal government is infringing on his religious freedom as a Reform rabbi.

Lewis called the presentation an exciting, but intimidating, procedure. The longer the debates go on the more momentum his fight will gain, he said.

“Just the fact that these MPs are meeting with so many gays and lesbians is good. The whole process of this committee will make it less strange to them and make it easier to decide in favour of same-sex marriage.”

Although the Ottawa presentation is one of the most important speeches he’s given, Lewis is no stranger to standing up to critics.

About five years ago he performed what he calls his “coming out,” the first time he made his liberal stance on same-sex marriages known to a large audience.

He wasn’t even ordained yet, but he stood up in front of a large Toronto congregation and told the synagogue that part of the Bible had been misread for the last 2,500 years.

“That was a big thing. That was nerve wracking,” Lewis said.

He attacked the classical reading of a verse from Chapter 20 in Liviticus, the part of the Bible that states if a man lays with another man as woman, it is an abomination.

As he gave the sermon he noticed a lot of downcast eyes, people shifting in their seats and a few nasty glares.

“I did get some flak. A number of people were quite upset,” he said.

But he kept on, not letting the detractors warp his principles.

He explained to the congregation that Liviticus is filled with dietary and sexual restrictions that many contemporary Jews don’t follow, yet the verse about homosexuality is seen as unbreakable.

He explained that the verse never mentions a thing about a woman laying with another woman.

At the end of the sermon he was approached by a lesbian, who said he had helped restore her faith.

“For the first time she felt like she really belonged to the congregation,” Lewis said.

Elisa Kukla knows how Lewis’s words can make someone feel like they belong.

Lewis married the 28-year-old lesbian to her longtime girlfriend, Kirsten Cowan, 30.

“There are not a lot of rabbis in Toronto who will perform a same-sex marriage,” said Kukla, who currently lives in Los Angeles where she attends rabbinical school.

There were a number of obstacles to the couple’s marriage: No synagogue would hold the wedding and no Jewish scribes would sign the wedding documents out of fear of a backlash.

But Lewis pushed them and the two women were finally wed on Toronto Island.

“The Ontario Jewish community has so far to go,” Kukla said.

“Justin is able to make such an impact. There’s not a lot of voices out there who are willing to go out on a limb and take risks.”

Risks indeed.

After the marriage Lewis received a phone call from the office of Ontario’s Registrar General.

The caller told him that if he performed another marriage without a marriage licence – which are restricted to gays and lesbians – he might find himself in court.

“They said ‘well, you’re going to lose your authorization and our lawyers will be in touch,’ ” he said.

Besides the government’s opposition, there’s

also the barriers from the synagogue, Lewis said.

He attended the Academy for Jewish Religion in Riverdale, N.Y., a school that accepts Jews of various political leanings and denominations – Reform, Conservative and Orthodox.

Because he was ordained at the academy and not the Reform seminary, he isn’t automatically a member of the Reform Rabbinical Association.

His ordination at the academy, which took place May 2001, also means he is blacklisted from the Conservative Rabbinical Association, he said.

“I certainly haven’t found myself under attack, but there are a lot of ways that pressure can be put on,” Lewis says.

Despite the obstacles and the threats, Lewis plows on.

He has helped a lesbian couple adopt a baby boy and performed a ceremony to convert the youngster to Judaism.

He also performed a Jewish conversion ceremony for a transsexual when no one else would.

If it wasn’t for Lewis, Kukla said, she would have given up on Judaism a long time ago. Instead, she’s studying to become a rabbi.

Lewis admits that the tension between his faith and his efforts to end homosexual discrimination has taken a toll on him.

“I’ve had moments of intense frustration but I’ve never come close to throwing in the towel,” he said.

He refuses to view his faith and his politics as incompatible.

Instead, he tries to use Judaism as a vehicle for opening eyes, hearts and minds.

The Jewish faith places a high priority on education and religious study, Lewis explained. That involves questioning convention and debating what we assume is normal.

“It involves different points of view, and thinking things through in a courageous way,” he said.

His next step is speaking at this week’s Reel Out film festival at The Screening Room, which features queer-themed movies and videos.

The movie of Lewis’s interest is screened on Thursday. It’s called Trembling Before G-D (G-D is the Orthodox Jewish spelling for God).

He’ll address the pain and suffering that many gay and lesbian Jews go through when they are forced to hide their sexuality.

“I might be able to let someone in town know there is a rabbi who is on side,” he said with a smile.