|
|
Josh Hasan
I did not
have to be a Muslim. Maybe. I could have been a Hindu, worshipping 14,321
gods and goddesses, such as a goddess for my neighbor’s dog, another for the
moon, and yet another for Evander Holyfield’s lost ear. I would be
worshiping all these counterfeit “gods,” and I would be sick. Sick in the
heart and blind to the logic of obeying a pink elephant with six arms, which
can be found on the walls of some Hindu-influenced, Indian restaurants. Yes,
they worship elephants, which are habitually afraid of mice.

Or perhaps I could be a Christian,
worshipping Jesus Christ. But why should I worship a prophet, indeed, who
never called himself divine? Wouldn’t he know? He does know, and so do I.
Jesus is not God and God is not Jesus.
I could have gone to Buddhism, but which sect is correct? Who knows? And
would I have wanted to listen to the Dalai Lama telling me how to enjoy
life-in his words, “taking three hookers and traveling to Las Vegas.”
I did not become any of the above, nor will I. I turned in the direction of
Islam when I knew almost nothing of it. One year later, I took Shahada. I
only wish I had taken it much earlier. This is my story of becoming a
Muslim. It began when I was 10.
One God
When I was 10, my parents enrolled me at the local Conservative Synagogue,
in the densely Jewish town of Brookline, Massachusetts. I was sent there
supposedly to learn Hebrew and be taught Judaism. I was adequately taught
neither. The teachers were mainly Israeli. It is hard for me to remember
now, but they actually taught [reformed] Judaism very well. At 10, I
sincerely believed in God, read the stories from the Torah and Old
Testament, and was more pious than my much older parents. I tried to pray
and be steadfast, even though my family and friends, as I remember, did not
think of it as even the least important. Why didn’t they care? Nevertheless,
I kept up my inner Jew. During this time of Judaica, I took peeks at
Christianity, wondering how so many of my friends followed this great man,
whose name so many people used in vain when they dropped their papers or
tripped. Shouldn’t Jesus Christ, I thought, be shown more respect? Moreover,
could he be the son of God?
Then one day, still 10, as I went through my readings on the Jews and
Israel, I came across a new religion. First, I saw a crescent and star; I
read further. I was profoundly moved when I found out that another billion
people in the world worshipped the same God as I did. As I think about it
now, it was truly remarkable. These followers of Islam, of Allah (swt), read
the Qur’an, as it was spelled, and went on a pilgrimage. Interesting.
Unfortunately, further learning at that time was hindered by the affinity
for Israel. I was brainwashed about the Muslim terrorists who blew up Jews
like dynamite. The Jews were good; the Arabs were bad. That’s what my
friends told me, that’s what my teachers seemed to imply, and I would seldom
hear of Islam again until 1999.
Meanwhile, 1994 turned into 1995. My family switched synagogues, and sects.
From conservative, we now called ourselves “reform Jews.” We became very
liberal. Our “Rabbi” was not kosher. He was hardly what I consider a
spiritual leader, a man who leads Jews as followers of God. One night, as we
sat in the “congregation,” our Rabbi tried to keep us awake. He referred to
his pleasure of looking lustfully at Boston College “coeds” from his nearby
home. He incited only a handful of laughs. Today, as I look back, I remember
how he spoke of the “haram” in front of his wife, before the Torah, and in
the presence of God. My discontent with Judaism grew, and I knew that a
religious move to the right wing was inevitable. Only it wouldn’t be
Orthodox Judaism.
The Other People of the Book
I was impressed at the time with the Christians’ spiritually because it
seemed powerful. Judaism, I knew, was a corrupt religion, but I still
believed in God. The Christians believe in God, do they not?
I went to mass, I spoke to priests, but I had the world’s most difficult
time believing that Jesus could be divine. So I forced myself. I would pray
to the “son,” and what a mess. I tried very hard, but I knew there was no
answer. I didn’t understand, but I continued studying the Catechism and
saying the Lord’s Prayer. I wasn’t baptized, so I wasn’t Catholic. In fact,
to become Catholic, you needed to study for nine months. What if I died
before I became a Catholic because the priests wouldn’t let me become
Christian? Then what? I continued to notice flaws in Christian doctrine. The
priests seemed to notice them, but they nevertheless continued preaching. I
didn’t.
Around January 26, 1999, I quit the confirmation class. I quit Christianity,
although I was not even Christian. I was not “saved,” but I did not care. I
pleased my parents immensely by leaving the Catholic Church. But, I still
knew there was only one God. To this day, I am surprised at how instantly it
happened. Not one week after I left the church for good, I was ready to
learn about the final religion of God.
The Horrendous Procrastination
My father was overjoyed to learn of my fading interest in Catholicism and he
welcomed Islam with open arms. Unfortunately, he took me to the library.
There, I was presented with Encyclopedia Britannica. I read about Muhammad
(pbuh). The article claimed he slaughtered all the Jewish men of their
tribe. Having read this, I was deeply saddened, and I was angry and confused
at the same time. I was indignant at having learned that this prophet from
Islam had slaughtered Jews, and I was confused about what to do now. I
thought I had ruled out Islam, but I still believed in God. Then what?
Indeed, I could not go more than a couple of weeks before returning. I knew
Judaism was corrupt, I knew Christianity was corrupt. Now I got it:
Encyclopedia Britannica is also corrupt.
So began my search for a local Mosque. In fact, I found a nearby Mosque by
accident. I looked on the Internet relentlessly. As soon as I saw the word
Boston, I clicked the mouse, awaiting the information that would bring me to
worship God in the right way. I waited, patient with a slow and unfeeling
modem, and finally, the site had loaded.
At the tap of a mouse button, I was greeted with Assalamu Alaikum. I took
down the address, and planned the journey. So special was it to have found a
mosque in Boston; I was thrilled that I wouldn’t have to travel to Egypt or
Jordan or Yemen.
It was around February 28, 1999. I walked down Prospect Street, and I saw
the Mosque. I walked to the front, I reached to open the door, and noticed a
sign: Women’s Entrance. Women’s entrance? I didn’t know what that meant, so
I walked around the mosque, hoping they would let men in somewhere.
Suddenly, I felt nervous as I found the men’s entrance. I had never met a
religious Muslim, and I had no idea what the Muslims’ reaction would be upon
meeting me. I wondered if I should hide my Jewish identity. I took a breath
and entered the door.
“Excuse me,” I said to the first man I saw. “I am here to learn about
Islam.” I waited for his reaction. I waited for an education or to be sent
out. Would they really send me out? I had hung up my shoes. The man opened
his mouth to speak: “Sorry, I don’t speak English,” and he went inside the
main room. I followed him in. I wasn’t sure if he had left me to wander. I
looked around, at the faithful prostrating in submission to Allah (swt). I
was moved, but I wasn’t sure what to do next. Then, I noticed the man
returned with what seemed like a horde of faithful others. I sat down. There
was one of me and what seemed like 50 of them. They all spoke to me at the
same time. It was overwhelming, but it felt great. It showed how important
Islam was to Muslims then and there. I was given “A Brief Illustrated Guide
to Islam,” and within minutes, I had the Shahada before my eyes. There it
was: La Ilaha Illa Allah, Muhammadun Rassoolu Allah. I was ready to say it.
Here and now. Nine months to become a Catholic, probably more to be a Jew.
In a matter of moments, I could embrace Islam.
“Are you sure? You don’t have to do this,” came the advice of a friendly but
cautious brother. I was surprised: was it such a big thing that I would have
to think about it? Should I not become a Muslim now?
That day, I did not become a Muslim. But it was a wonderful Saturday. I met
brothers from all over the world. And yet, as diverse as the people
appeared, they all shared a common objective, which was clear: the utmost
submission to Allah (swt).
It would be over a year before I would become a Muslim. During that year, I
had been at the site of an alleged shooting in the Bronx, passing through in
my family’s car. In fact, the bullet shattered the rear window, just a few
feet away from my head. I survived without a scratch, and soon forgot about
the whole incident.
On May 6, 2000, I took the same train I had always taken to the Masjid in
Cambridge. This time, I brought with me a book on Arabic, as I thought it
would be appropriate to learn the language. That was my philosophy back
then. Study Islam comprehensively. By the time you take Shahada, you’ll be a
genius. I ran into a Muslim I hadn’t seen in months. He asked me if I had
become a Muslim yet. Then, we had a short conversation. He talked about how
if I went out in the street and got in a car accident, I would die a
non-Muslim. This very well could mean hellfire. He told me this exact story
back in December 1999, but I had dismissed it, even in the wake of the Bronx
shooting. This time, putting off Islam would not last.
At the Masjid that same afternoon, I sat down, and watched as the Muslims
lined up for Dhuhr, the second prayer of the day. I stared as they
prostrated, an act Shaitan had refused. And I couldn’t take it any longer. I
wondered what it would be like to become a Muslim now, but my thoughts were
all one-sided. I told the brother right after the prayer that I wanted to
become a Muslim today. As I write this, three months later, I know that
taking Shahada was the best thing I could ever have done. I only wish I
could have done it earlier. |